Weekly Rewind

Wow! The first week of the new year has really shaped up to be quite eventful. If this is any indication of what's to come in 2012, you'd better fasten your seatbelts, folks. With an election year, leap year (At least we get an extra day if it really is the end of the world, right?) and the end of days all looming before us, this year promises not to disappoint. Let's take a look at what craziness happened this week, shall we?*

January 5 - Gingrich Implies That All Blacks Get Food Stamps

According to the Huffington Post, 

Hmmm ... did I miss the memo? I didn't realize that the entire African-American community received food stamps. Is this some part of the fine print on the slavery reparations that I overlooked? African-Americans should expect to receive the following: forty acres, one mule, and an endless supply of food stamps...? Forget the food stamps; I want to know who I need to call to formally "demand [a] paycheck."

January 5 - Casey Anthony Reminds Us Why We Dislike Her

On Thursday, Good Morning America and The Today Show aired a video diary allegedly recorded by Casey Anthony on October 13, 2011. The video, recorded in an undisclosed location, showed Anthony sporting a freshly bleached blond bob. Anthony spends four minutes talking about painfully dull topics such as buying a new computer, her plans to post video diaries more frequently, adopting a dog, and the improvements in her life since the trial. She made no mention of her daughter, or any hopes for justice for Caylee. Perhaps this is because she is fully aware of the Fifth Amendment's prohibition of double jeopardy? I'm just saying ... you'd think she would be on a non-stop hunt for justice for her baby girl.

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January 6 - Slavery Makes a Comeback ... In 3rd Grade MathSeveral parents of third graders who attend Beaver Ridge Elementary School in Norcross, GA were outraged to find questions referencing slavery and beatings on a math assignment given to the children for homework. WSB-TV reported:

District spokeswoman Sloan Roach said that the teachers were trying to do a "cross-curricular" activity, and that the questions were an attempt at incorporating social studies lessons into math problems. However, with no apparent historical context whatsoever ... the explanation is shaky, at best. I'm not quite sure how anyone could possibly think that questions such as these are appropriate in any way, shape, or form. In a nation that has not participated in the slave trade in nearly 150 years, to reference such an obviously inflammatory topic in such a flagrantly casual manner to eight year olds (or any year olds, for that matter), is unacceptable. That's two strikes for the Georgia school system, if you ask me. I've never really considered home schooling my child before (perhaps because I don't have a child), but with the constant barrage of improprieties, I'm starting to worry what my [hypothetical] child will (or will not) learn in school. Add that to the long list of things to worry about when I become a mommy.


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January 8 - Superstars Jay and Bey Welcome Their Baby Girl

Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z welcomed Blue Ivy Carter, a healthy baby girl, into the world on Saturday in New York at Lenox Hill Hospital, according to E! News. Rumors swirled throughout Bey's pregnancy, with several different conspiracy theories circulating:

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The alleged details of the actual delivery did nothing to quiet the rumors. According to reports by TMZ,

At the end of the day, does it really matter if she was pregnant or not? The couple is notoriously private, and obviously don't care to divulge the dirty deets regarding the pregnancy. Is it really any of our business, anyway? For those of you who just have to know, maybe you'll get lucky, and Beyoncé will show the world her C-section scar. Here's to healthy, [undoubtedly] happy, Blue Ivy! Congratulations, Carter family!

January 8 - Papa John's Offers an Apology for Offensive Slur

A cashier was fired from a New York Papa John's Pizza for identifying an Asian-American customer as "lady chinky eyes." Minhee Cho posted a picture of the offending receipt to her Twitter account with the caption, "Just FYI, my name isn't 'lady chinky eyes.'" 

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Within a day, her post became viral, with over 200,000 views. Papa John's issued the following statement, "This act goes against our company values, and we've confirmed with the franchisee that this matter was addressed immediately and that the employee is being terminated. We are truly sorry for this customer's experience."

Really?! ... soooooo ... that's just it? They're sorry? I wonder if the cashier even bothered to ask this poor woman her name, or if he just thought he would be proactive and use an obnoxious identifier, instead. Did he forget that the name actually appears on the bottom of the receipt? Or maybe he thought it would be funny to add that sweet little racial slur, just to see if she was paying attention. What an ignorant slug. Racial slurs are SO démodé.

Well, that concludes this week's edition of the Weekly Rewind. Join me again next week for more noteworthy news and "Oh, no they didn't!"s. Bonne nuit, my sweets!